| enjoying my weird |
[Jan. 18th, 2009|10:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
Within the course of 24 hours, three people whom I love very much commented on the fact that I am "weird". Weird. What? What do you mean weird...compared to WHAT? Well, the good news is that this kind of weird in two of the three opinions are favorable. That weird means "not boring", diverse, memorable. I like that - I never felt like I ever fit the cookie-cutter mold of the rest of the drone population. I always opted for the different career, the different look, the different activity. Not because I tried, because it's who I am and that's okay.
The other weird description was hurtful, but not because it's about me, but more because it's about the person who made the comment. What I've learned is that it is less about me and more about their inability to communicate, choosing instead to be cruel instead of honest. I'm incredibly sad about it, but it'll be okay.
What's even more interesting is that after spending the day at NAMM (the big music industry trade show) I blended in and suddenly my weird was everyone's normal. It felt good and I felt like I had landed on a planet that knew me. Then I popped two ibuprofen and a strong cup of coffee - millions of people and the noise in the drumming room about pushed me over the edge, but I loved every single stinkin' moment.
Weird? I'll show you weird. |
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| book it dano |
[Dec. 28th, 2008|01:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
huh. Hotwire came through for me yesterday while booking a trip to Vegas for February. I've used it in the past and really have no complaints, but it's a bit nerveracking clicking "BOOK IT" when you don't know what you're really signing up for other then the price and some details....But, we got lucky - the incredibly cheap, cheap, cheap room rate got us booked at the Wynn! NOT TOO SHABBY.
This is a trip to see Motley Crue at the Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel (thanks Courtney - your gift rocks!). I've only been to Vegas once during the winter months and it just doesn't feel right unless it's 150 degrees outside. |
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| joy vs. lame |
[Dec. 27th, 2008|07:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
JOY. It is true. STOP exhausting yourself trying to make others joyful - do what you do best and in it you will feel most joyful.
JOY. It is true. A month containing live shows from Motley Crue, Cheap Trick and Oasis made me very joyful (see above!)
NOT JOY. It is true. Getting yelled at over an ink cartridge. Really? REALLY? |
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| yay! |
[Aug. 31st, 2008|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  full | ] |
I suppose it's too late to unscramble my DNA and stop making me early and on time for absolutely everyone and everything in my world. I should have started keeping score decades ago. I imagine the amount of time I've waited on others could have bought me some constructive time doing lots of other things. God Bless those who are late. Not that they accomplish more mind you. It just takes less time to say "Sorry I'm late" then the time it takes thinking "#@!&^% - they're late again!"
Frozen yogurt still rocks after all these years.
Speaking of rocks, The Young Dubliners TOTALLY ROCKED The Coach House Friday night! Keeping in mind they used borrowed equipment due to having ALL their stuff, including merchandise, stolen outside of their hotel in Barstow...these guys are Pros with a Capital P and I will go see them anytime/anywhere/(and drag)everyone with me.
P.S. I HATE EVERYONE! Taa-daa! |
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| i'm glad i ignored mama and came anyway |
[Aug. 24th, 2008|08:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
Thank you, Cory Wells, for always being the gracious man that you are. You never fail to give this girl her 15 seconds of fame which truly shows what a magnificent man you have always been.
Thank you, Danny Hutton, for still being as handsome as ever and showing us that not all Irish men are short, chubby and balding.
Thank you, Chuck Negron, for reminding us that your absence is always missed and memories, always cherished.
Thank you, Michael Allsup - your dedication, your talent - you are an icon through the decades.
Thank you, Jimmy Greenspoon, for recovery. The keyboards would be nothing without you at the helm.
Thank you, Floyd Sneed. You're truly missed but never forgotten. King Solomon's Mines Lives!
Thank you, Joe Schermie. You left this earth too soon, but your passion remains and you are immortal in our hearts.
Three Dog Night
My idols
My employer
My friends |
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| how to get to Chicago in 2008 |
[Aug. 10th, 2008|09:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dorky | ] |
The route: LAX to Orange County to Salt Lake City to Atlanta to Knoxville to the Car Rental through Kentucky, Indiana and then Illinois and the final destination: Chicago U.S.A.
The reason: Flying stand-by on passes in today's frightful airline nerousis
The solution to get home: Last minute and many $$$ later ------> a direct flight home
The victims: Courtney and Holly
The story: Will survive many social circles and a lifetime |
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| "...i'm filling a hole where the rain came in...." |
[Aug. 10th, 2008|09:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
The eye of the storm exists somewhere in my deep psyche. I try to fill it up with chocolate chips and cookie edges and frosting and the outsides of candy bars and it hasn't felt full enough since at least 1962. Before that I can't remember.
I've often asked...do I purposely walk into the storm? Does feeling bad feel safe and familiar? Or am I just weary from being everything I think I should be - to everyone (except me?). I wasn't present for life's most valuable lessons. I was too busy rehearsing how to ask.
Sleep and summer's bright morning sunshine is the best medicine in the world. Or CT or da Crue.
Ramblings of separation anxiety. My hell, defined. |
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| "...we are, we are the Saints of Los Angeles...." |
[Aug. 3rd, 2008|10:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
WHAT A $#!*& GREAT SUMMER OF MUSIC!
Love me - love my rock stars. Last night was CRUEFEST featuring:
TRAPT: Awesome - love them!
SIXX A.M.: Tight, emotional set with vocals that are phenomenal
PAPA ROACH: Great show, but out of all the bands...the one in which I took the bathroom/get drinks/wander break...well?
BUCKCHERRY: Lead singer is a superb frontman!
MOTLEY CRUE: My Boys! Hey, they all need naps before the show these days, but hell, they pack 'em in and still rock the crap out of the place. Pyrotechnics, big lights, long flowing hair - HEAVEN HAS CLAIMED ME! And, my heart swells for Mick Mars who, despite a crippling, degenerative bone disease, can still shred better then ever.
Oh, and Nikki Sixx....well, 'nuff said. THANK YOU. And to Vince Neil, who gave me a place to immortalize all of this history.
Cheap Trick, opening for Heart and Journey, is now a memory of three weeks ago....it's rare, however, that I'd actually see my two favorite bands within a month of one another so that in itself helped smooth some otherwise rocky days inbetween.
Now on to Three Dog Night (former employers of mine) and The Young Dubliners at the end of August! I cannot imagine me without my music. And, neither can anyone else. |
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| white things |
[Jul. 14th, 2008|10:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nervous | ] |
I am a horrible patient - I know way too much. This is what you become by default by being in the medical field. So, I get to have this THING that is sitting on my gum, over a back molar, biopsied on Wednesday. My anxiety-riddened mind has set the scene for every scary scenario that it possibly can. And the more each person says "don't worry! it's probably nothing!" makes the pit in my stomach travel deeper. In the meantime I am surrounded by dozens whose dental histories are much worse then mine could even dream to be. WTF?!
So, I suppose I will soon believe sleep is highly overrated. At least until my results come back. |
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| what was that |
[Jun. 27th, 2008|08:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | thirsty | ] |
For lack of laziness, I just sat through an HBO comedy special that featured Bob Saget and his $#*&^@ routine. This guy has got some serious esteem issues with the years he spent on Full House and hosting America's Funniest Home Videos. Hey, Bob, you paid the bills, right, and it afforded you the leisure to write this pseudo-stand up routine - don't knock it buddy. Then again, I did sit through the entire hour. Well, and there you go.
HBO will also be running all of George Carlin's shows through the weekend. I'm thrilled, as is my DVR, although I hate the reason they're running them.
Countdown to Cheap Trick: 19 days
Countdown to Motley Crue: 34 days
Countdown to Three Dog Night: (you heard me!) 57 days
Yay! |
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| summer solstice |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|07:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
Courtney and Harley (the pooch!) have moved back home for the summer! This is GOOD. I get to spend some quality time with my daughter as once they move out they become somewhat of a celebrity. You spend alot of time just staring at them whenever they are around - it's a bit weird. Anyway, time for her to emotionally clean house and move on after a four-year relationship.
It has also occurred to me that while people are starving in under-developed countries, my daughter has acquired 100 pairs of socks - at minimum. Harley has about as many dog toys. Infact, I think every category has enough stock to survive a nuclear disaster.
Watch your step. |
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| yummy yummy yummy i got food in my tummy |
[Jun. 8th, 2008|09:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | full | ] |
Brownie Sundaes rock!
And Paul's BBQing has redifined anything anybody has even attempted. He can crank out dead cow, fish and fowl like nobody's business! If something must die for the cause, the Weber is as good a reason as any. |
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| surrounded |
[Jun. 6th, 2008|08:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
On June 6, 1970 I was a gawky adolescent with a very unusual job - president of The Cory Wells National Fan Club.
WHO? Cory Wells. One of the three original lead singers from the 70's band Three Dog Night. ANYWAY. 06/06/70 was a big day in my little life - I hosted the Cory Wells National Fan Club Beachathon - a community event in which Cory joined his fans for a day of cleaning up the Santa Monica Beach. Nevermind Cory, myself and "staff" felt like the celebrities - I remember sitting in the limo with fans surrounding every inch and thinking this must be what it's like to be a BEATLE.
So, thirty-eight years later, to the day, I am waiting near LAX to pick up Noise Attack - the punk band my son, Dustin, plays drums in. It's been a big week for them - they've been holed up in Idaho at Cedar Mountain recording studios laying down tracks for their third CD. They had a personal chef and private rooms and pagers to let them know when they were needed in the studio. It may never get better then this, but we're all hoping for at least a one-hit-wonder, and happily their sponsors and producers have faith in them as well.
And then my cell phone rang.
The meatheads had missed their flight! The ticket agent must have been smitten - they managed to "whoa is us - struggling musicians - out of money....please-oh-please..." and voila! she booked them at no cost on tomorrow's flight. Amazing young men. But typical.
Had a gypsy walked up to me 38 years ago and told me what I'd be doing on this date in 2008?
Well.... Viva La Rock 'n Roll! |
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| soap boxes without suds |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|09:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
When I was a fresh-faced young mother with a brand new baby and I would have $5 at the end of week leftover from my husband's paycheck, and had to make a decision about spending it on diapers or food I felt LESS TRAPPED THEN, then I do right now....
I am pissed off.
About gas. About having to schedule my life around my gas tank. About wages not going up the 4-10 cents per day that gas seems to. About no quick fixes and years to recover, if we even find a way to do it. About not being able to sell my home and move in a timely fashion, even if I had to. About $6 boxes of cereal and these righteous surburban mothers who think the original Starbucks logo is somehow offensive because it MIGHT suggest a woman has BREASTS.
Oh yeah. And, hoping I won't have to pack a (GASP) second bag to be checked and charged for at the airport.
In the meantime, let's all rush to help that 15 yr. old who just gave birth in our American hospital from El Salvador. Seems the good old state of California is more then happy to pick up that tab. And, seems her parents, and the father of the baby, shipped her over to establish their newest family member as an American citizen to pave the way for Pops. Oh and the best part? Yes, she and her "friend" were upset because we wouldn't give them a supply of free formula to take home. Of which we pay a in-house translator to tell us....
Of which I said....
"Breastfeed. It's free."
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| a personal solstice |
[May. 28th, 2008|08:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | full | ] |
I finally gave the boot to the book club I've been a member of for the last seven years. I just couldn't handle another session of mayonnaise-based dinners and having to get "a message" from everything I read. These people didn't want anything too racy, violent, sad, left-field, vampy, sickenly sweet or otherwise. So, what's left??? Yawn....zzzzzzzz....c'mon people.
So, I'm VERY excited to have a pile of books that I WANT to read - currently "The Yiddish Policeman's Union". Having just come out of "Back Roads" and "The Invisible Wall" I have high hopes for three good picks in a row and a little journal to keep it all straight once they've left my grip. Ahhhhhhhh, it's good to be back!
It's also my annual onslaught of cabin fever. Light well into the night, balmy temps outside the coffeehouses, drinks at dusk which is well past what dusk is in mid-November....I always feel this inner vagabond that wants to just pack a bag and GO. It makes me want to be a.....very....bad....girl. |
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| revisit, revamp, relay, rewind, rethink, reconstruct, remember.... |
[May. 26th, 2008|08:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
It's been many moons, and many suns, and all other planetary shifts inbetween since I've posted here. There's no way I can pack a year's worth of life onto this page and I know not to even try. But, there's still this voice inside of me that longs to speak volumes and so I have to indulge myself. Although, in today's world if you're found talking to yourself, people just assume you've got a Bluetooth. Once upon a time you were just crazy. I like crazy - it's much more interesting.
The year I've lived until right now brought back a few people into my life of which my character is a part of. Some of these people have welcomed me back, and some still aren't sure whether they want to. There are some people who I've parted ways with and some I'd like to simply forget if given the chance. And then I wonder who would I miss? Who would I want to miss? It seems I don't even care if they'd miss me. I suppose that's the clue right there.
I was recently challenged on my most enjoyable passion - my intense love of rock music and the bands who I lay hard-earned money down for two hours of escape. I have many passions in my life I'm not willing to give up. I've always felt that if we all loved the same things, life would be boring and none of us would be unique, so it's okay if I'm not understood. Maybe I prefer not to share. But, keep asking me, because sharing who I am with you reminds me of why I am NOT you. Yay!
Apparently Mercury is in retrograde, and as the great astrologers remind us, it's what we choose to do with it, not just what it states. For some it will be three weeks of chaos, but if we truly have that choice then the secret is in the "re" and that's what brings me here...."Re"visiting.
Cheers |
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| forever is a long time |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
I once had a best friend named Mary
Our children shared cribs and toys and choreographed skits to entertain us
We shared laughter, tears and many wonderful memories
And then we shared silence
A falling out...
A misunderstanding...
Words spoken in the absence of truths
I found traces of her
And her grown-up girls
And saw life gave beauty to those baby faces
But sickness has also invaded her world
And ever since I cannot stop thinking about all the wasted years
The miles between us
The years of missed laughter
I miss you Mary
I always have
I always will
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|
| mother's day 2007 |
[May. 13th, 2007|10:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | full | ] |
First up! Morbid Cemetery Tour...BUT WAIT!!!
Roasted beefsteak tomatoes with goat cheese, cilantro and almonds glazed with a sweet honey sauce...
Key-Lime-Tini with a delicate graham cracker rim
Salmon with lemon butter caper sauce and a sprinkling of dill
Warm chocolate lava cake with vanilla bean ice cream
Ice Wine (meant to sip between bites of cake and ice cream)
...and seating at David's private table....
SILVERA'S STEAKHOUSE AND LOUNGE - DOWNTOWN HUNTINGTON BEACH
Love and Kisses to Courtney and Erik, Dustin and Paul...
...from me....
The Mom. |
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| ch-ch-ch-changes |
[May. 11th, 2007|08:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
We gripe about the traffic and influx of people who have flocked to Orange County seeking the good life. Seems there are a whole other flock that are heading east to Austin, Texas. From my relatives, there may be as many has seven of them within the next couple of years. Austin will soon be the next Orange County as people migrate there and begin congesting their highways and driving up housing prices. What I'm hoping is that if life remains expensive here in Orange County, more and more transplants will become disillusioned and leave. Someday we may see a return of chaos in smaller doses.
On another note - I'm attending a one-day conference this weekend and one of the keynote speakers on rectal fistulas has taken ill! Well, damn! Now we have to listen to overcoming a difficult birth experience. Call me kooky but I was looking forward to something most people can't say they've ever actually heard before! You'd be surprised how handy these bits of information can be when the conversation goes quiet...
On the friends end...
Feeling a bit concerned about one friend who has been having some confusing health problems...
Another is nursing a broken heart...
One is getting ready for two weeks in Hawaii and full month off from work! HATE HER!
I have a three day weekend. If I could only sloooowwwww down the clock... |
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| TGIF 'cept I work the entire weekend |
[May. 4th, 2007|09:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | groggy | ] |
Seems alot of my LJ regulars are MIA, and without them posting is alot like talking to yourself.
Today's breastfeeding conference was inspiring right up until the last fifteen minutes when one of the students suffered either a heart attack or a stroke. Fortunately she chose a room full of medical professionals to fall ill in, so she was in good hands until the (always handsome) paramedics arrived. The good news: she will be fine.
So after only about three hours of sleep last night I'm attempting a better record tonight. I have an eight hour day tomorrow teaching childbirth education. Slurring my phrases is probably not a good option.
And now I shall claim a few moments with Tiger Balm, my trapezius muscle and Paul's massage techniques. Sounds promising in more ways then one! |
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